Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Successful Tall Women Find Love with Loser Short Guys?

Here’s a whole new take on relationships. According to one of the numerous surveys folks are always giving and taking, if you’re a successful female looking for a guy, don’t worry, there’s a loser short guy out there looking for you. This is called the George Clooney Effect on account of George Clooney getting hooked up with a hot shot international lawyer who is taller and smarter than he is. 

But is she really taller and smarter than he is? Face it, if she’s wearing those popular deathtrap high heels, she’s walking around on her tippy toes. Thus, if he were to walk around on his tippy toes he’d probably be taller than she is. Or the same height. But he’s a guy and he’s already smarter than her because he only wears comfy flat shoes that won’t put him into the podiatrist office in his old age. 

Whoops, at 53, Clooney is close to old age. With his looks I guess there’s no need to go there.

How about the smart part. Here’s my problem. The media claims she’s intellectually superior to George, but did someone compare their IQs or are they going on the fact George is an actor and she’s a lawyer? Does that automatically mean she’s smarter than he is? Would a successful woman really want a guy who can’t keep up with her conversations?

What surprised the survey taker guys was that successful women are attracted to older guys. Hold on, here! Topsy turvy world. Role reversal. Successful females are aligning themselves with successful guys! Unlike successful men who often opt for beauty and no brains. Which of course leads to dumb offspring. 

I never could figure out why smart successful guys are surprised to discover they sired kids who are dumber than rocks. Maybe they were too busy being successful to absorb any information about how genetics work. 

Then, again. Their brain probably never entered the equation.

Back to successful women. It makes sense they prefer older guys since the male of the species takes forever to grow up. By the time one gets successful in a career, one is no longer entertained by men who make fart sounds with their hand and armpit. 

These women are also more “picky” about who they want to date or marry. And why not? If you’re independent and financially successful, why tie yourself to a loser?

What really surprised the survey taker guys was that short, less successful guys are more than willing to hook up with a woman who is intellectually superior, earns more money, is independent, and career driven. 

Hmmm, and what exactly is the young, not-as-successful guy bringing to the table?

The media says successful women are okay with dumb short guys. Just look at George, they say. But I’m not buying it. Shorter, okay. Dumber, not so much. Sorry guys, you're just going to have to bring more to the table than you did in the past.