Sunday, April 23, 2017

Southern Style Dining: The Yellow Menu

Alabama seldom gets a high ranking in any of the state survey contests, in fact if it weren’t for Mississippi we’d probably always be the worst at whatever was being ranked. It came as a big surprise to find out Alabama and Mississippi tied on something and Louisiana got a worst ranking than both of us.
Yep, Louisiana won the fattest population test. 36.2% of their population is overweight while only 35.6% of Alabama and Mississippi’s population gets that coveted accolade. 
We finally reach second highest and what do we get? Diet plans.


Which is not gonna sit well with the folks who like to patronize the restaurants in Tassanoxie who serve what I like to call a “yellow menu.” Meaning everything has been dipped in corn bread or flour and fried. We’re talking so much grease here, they don’t have to buy new, all they have to do is scrap it off the kitchen walls and reuse it.

Sure, this means little bitty bits of chicken or fish sneak into the recycled grease, but it’s not as if it’ll kill you. The grease is heated to death-defying temperatures that should kill off any bacteria. So what if the French fries taste a little like chicken/fish? Who’s going to notice. It’s not like gourmet chefs or diners hang out in yellow menu restaurants, now is it?  

Just to let you know, if you dare to ask for your fish to be broiled not fried, you have to pay extra because they are doing you a big favor. I reckon since they can’t just dump the fish in a vat of bubbling grease, they gotta charge for the extra work.

It’s hard to imagine that amid all the healthy eating that’s happening across the country, these restaurants still hang in there. 

It’s not just the frying that’s the problem, like many restaurants across the country, the yellow menu places serve too much food, too. I’ve seen servers deliver a meal that would feed a small nation. Or the expansive belly that keeps the guy who ordered it three feet from the table. The servings sizes have gotten so big, most folks have no idea how much food makes up a serving.

Hitch the large size of the servings to the types of food being served– high fat, high sugar, high calorie–surprise! Obesity wins.

Of course, the yellow menu restaurants are doomed because the folks that eat there are not healthy eaters which means they face lots of health problems. So many the survey taker people just say higher body weights are associated with increases in all-cause mortality. 

All-cause mortality. I reckon that means so many causes there’s no use listing them one by one. 

It seems to me all these harrowing statistics would make the owner of a restaurant whose menu is mostly yellow a tad been worried. I mean, if the type of food you serve and the amounts you serve help shuttle your customer on the road to death, wouldn’t it be a good idea to come up with some healthy, mouth watering alternatives? 


You know, before all your customers suffer that all-cause mortality problem?

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