Tuesday, May 30, 2017

Alabama: 51st State Out Of 50

Last month I told y’all about how Louisiana cushions Alabama’s from being the fattest state–with a little help from Mississippi. Well, that didn’t work with education. According to a state education spokeswoman we’re now the dumbest state based on school scores.

She kept saying Alabama ranked 51st out of 50 states. Which right there explains why Alabama has education issues. State education leaders think we have 51 states, but at last count, there were only 50.

I know, I know, they’re counting the District of Columbia, but shouldn’t that be mentioned somewhere in the article? Otherwise, the person quoting the statistic sounds ignorant. The participants in the survey should be explained. Like 50 states and DC.

When I read the article, I couldn’t stop thinking, “Well, if they’re teaching our kids we have 51 states, then we should be at the bottom of the education heap.”

The 3 Rs?
Then the education expert fell back on that worn out rhetoric about “going back to the basics” of reading, writing, and arithmetic–the three Rs. Again, I see a problem. Only reading starts with a “r”! Calling it the 3Rs confuses the heck out of kids.

Oh yeah, and while we’re at it, let’s drop social studies and science in elementary school. Wouldn’t want to muddy up the younguns’ brains too early with those subjects, now would we? Of course, axing art and music is a given. Why waste time on the amenities when these kids can’t even add?

Not once does our visiting education expert mention the survey about the correlation between how much a state spends on education and how well the public schools perform. Oddly, the high scoring schools pretty much spend more money per student on education than the low scoring schools. Ever heard tell of you get your money’s worth?

New State School Superintendent 
Alabama got a new state school superintendent last fall and expectations run high he’ll figure out how to get us off the bottom of the heap since he’s from a high scoring state. Being he’s from Massachusetts I can’t see how that’ll work out. Everyone knows those New Englanders talk funny. How in heaven’s name are we supposed to understand a word he says?

He’s also used to being around state leaders committed to educating the kids and spending money on them to do it right. Our legislature meets for about 2 minutes a year. They don’t have time to make any big long term decisions about anything much less education.

Meanwhile, Alabama teachers, like teachers everywhere, keep on trucking. They work long hours for low pay while shaping the future leaders of this country.

Stop the presses!! 
Maybe hiring an educational guru from Massachusetts isn’t such a great idea after all. This just in from USA Today. Alabama may be on the bottom of the education list, but according to Google, our most misspelled word is pneumonia while those brainiacs in Massachusetts don’t seem to be able to spell the word license,