The best way to find out the latest gossip in Tassanoxie, is to visit Zonie Mae’s beauty shop. That’s where I get most of my news now that I don’t work on the newspaper. Of course, most of her news is flat-out gossip, but I’m not in the business of reporting facts these days. And gossip is way more fun.
According to Zonie Mae, a mutual acquaintance has gone and got an ear lift. Well, really it’s more an ear plump because the doctor pumped something called facial filler into her ears. Until yesterday I had no idea any such thing even existed. And now that I’ve heard about it, it does have a certain allure.
Truth is, I never thought I’d want to bother with cosmetic surgery, but then I never thought to see this side of sixty and I certainly never thought I’d live long enough to see my earlobes droop. But as a friend says, it is what it is. I’ve lived past my earlobe warranty and my earlobes have decided to pay me back for punching holes in them and dangling earrings off them for all these years.
Believe me, it wasn't any fun to notice a definite ear droop. And they're sort of creased, too, especially when I pop earrings into them. And I never wore the huge earrings popular today. I have no idea how much fashionable earrings weigh since I haven’t tried them on so I may be way off in thinking they’re stretching earlobes. But it just seems a reasonable conclusion.
As does the prediction that cosmetic surgeons are going to have plenty of women who need ear lifts for the foreseeable future. Which means I should probably hurry to the doctor before there’s a long line.
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