Generational Gap

The generational gap I’m talking about has to do with the way young males have been wearing their pants these days. Low slung on their hips, sometimes barely above their knees. A fashion statement that works best with new underwear. 

From the get go, I had a problem figuring out how their pants stay up. Especially since the pants not only ride lower than low, they seem to be several sizes too big. I don’t know any of the young men I see well enough to ask how they keep their pants from falling down. Kinda seems like a personal question you can’t just stick into a conversation with a stranger. Makes me miss my reporter days. I could pretty near ask anyone anything if I told ‘em it was for the newspaper.

 I wondered if suspenders were involved, but  suspenders would show between the pants and the underwear.  While I’ve seen belts on the young men, it doesn’t seem possible they could hold the pants in place. I’m betting on glue, super glue to be exact. Although how anyone can use super glue without gluing their fingers together or to something else is one of life’s mysteries I haven’t figured out.

 These saggy pants have caused quite a ruckus in some cities, where they have instituted ordinances with fines for the male fashionistas who wear their pants too low. That would be a nice little source of income for a small town like Tassanoxie, if the problem were rampant. But it’s not, which is one of the advantages of a small town. Social pressure has its uses.

 I feel sorta sorry for the younger generations. They’re running out of ways to set themselves apart from previous generations, which is the reason saggy pants or neon hair streaks or body tattoos exist. Young people are trying to separate themselves from their parents. 

Little do these guys know that all too soon time will have their pants back to their waist so they can get a decent job. More years will roll past and suddenly, their pants are once again one or two sizes larger, but this time it won’t be due to a saggy fashion. No, it’ll be age and weight gain. 

Then they’ll try to hide any photos of themselves in saggy pants, because they don’t want their children to laugh uproariously when they see what dear old dad wore. And dear old dad will cringe when his teen arrives home sporting the latest fad. I can’t help but wonder what these kids have in store for the saggy pants generation