Like most people who are NOT neatniks, stuff lays about my house in an untidy mess. There’s even a name for this type of stuff, it’s called clutter. I was looking at a magazine of house plans one day and there was the perfect solution: a clutter room. The ten-foot by ten-foot room was tucked into the house like an interior storage shed. A room designed strictly for clutter held tremendous appeal for me, because I figured having a clutter room would mean the rest of my house was uncluttered.
As in neat.
Tidy.
I studied the architect’s plan, delighting in the fact someone had designed a room to hide clutter. The architect had placed the room near the entry from the garage.
Ah ha! I wasn’t the only one who realized clutter trails into the house from the car, concealed in all sorts of packaging. I wrestled with whether or not I could renovate a bedroom into a clutter room.
Then a tiny flaw in the concept hit me. How would the clutter get to the clutter room?
Would I have to take the clutter there?
How would I get have to carry it there?
Telekinesis–the ability to move objects at a distance by mental power– seemed the obvious solution. But…and this is a big but, my brain can barely remember what I wore the previous day, much less move an object. But if I were a telekinetic…hmmmm.
Okay, I’d start out simple. I’d apply my new powers of telekinesis to junk mail. Wouldn’t it be great to come home, skim through the mail, and send the junk mail sailing into the clutter room? No clutter in the kitchen, just gleaming counter tops.
After conquering junk mail, I’d go onto something more difficult, like getting rid of clutter in the bedroom. I don’t know how it happens, but ear rings, clothing tags, and unmatched socks congregate on my dresser. Off to the clutter room with it all!
With these successes under my belt, I’d unclutter my office. It’s easy to imagine standing in the doorway and saying, “Go to the clutter room, right now! And no whining.” Of course, if I gave that command, I’d have to jump out of the way because reams of computer paper, pencils, pens, notepads, books, and file folders would fly past me.
Clutter would be a thing of the past. No books stacked under the copier table, no junk mail piled on the kitchen counter, no mismatched socks lying on the dresser–just lots of space expecting to be dusted or vacuumed.
Hmmm…maybe having clutter is a good thing. After all, clutter diverts the eyes from dust. I may need to rethink this idea.
Plus, the clutter room is only a ten-foot by ten-foot room. I generate a lot of clutter and eventually, the clutter room won’t be big enough to hold it all. I can see the clutter creeping down the hall to the other bedrooms, then the kitchen, and finally back into the office.
Soon things will be laying about my house in an untidy mess–sort of like they do now.
Ginger Hanson w/as Mabel Tuckingham
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