Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Computer Reading Glasses

I got me a new set of reading glasses for the computer because Sam told me that would keep me from getting a crick in my neck. If I wear my bifocals when I look at the monitor, I have to tilt my head up to see it. After a while, my neck gets sore. With the reading glasses I can see the screen just fine.

The nice optician suggested I have them tinted yellow to reduce glare from the monitor screen. Which is how I ended up with a pair of yellow-tinted glasses.

Problem is, sometimes I forget to take them off when I get up from the computer. The other day I was running around the house thinking I was going blind or was a candidate for cataract surgery. All on account of leaving these computer glasses on!

When I wear them, everything more than two feet away is blurry and has a yellow tint. From what I've been told, people with cataracts need more light to see. So here I am, thinking I’m losing my sight while all along I had on the wrong glasses.

What a relief when I discovered what I’d done. I just hope I'll remember it for the next time I hop up from the computer and leave those glasses on instead of switching to my "seeing" glasses!

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Miss Mabel's Evolution!

Don't miss the chance to learn about me! Starting tomorrow morning (Monday, October 31st), Ginger Hanson will be blogging at Long and Short Reviews all week. She'll share some insights about the Tassanoxie stories and characters to include one titled "The Evolution of Miss Mabel." You won't want to miss it! I know I'm anxious to read about myself.

Be sure and click on the link below and go over and get some behind the scenes info about your favorite small Southern town! See ya there....

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Meet Mr. Tibbs

Sam fussed at me when he saw how long it'd been since I last blogged. Said I wasn't blogging like a person is supposed to. Seems to me, if he was following my blog, he could've sent me an email reminding me to blog! 'Course now that I pointed that out, he'll probably plague me with emails.

On to the reason I decided to blog today.

I thought I’d introduce you to my cat. His name is Mr. Tibbs. Not because I loved the movie, but because I like the name. He’s one of those orange and white cats they like to use for TV commercials. Probably because they show up good on the camera.

I asked Sam to come over and show me how to put Mr. Tibbs’ photo on the blog. He looks cute as pie (Mr. Tibbs, not Sam), but he can be a real handful when he wants. (Again, Mr. Tibbs, not Sam). Mr. Tibbs runs my dog Jocko ragged. And he’s about as big as Jocko since Jocko is a Westy and Mr. Tibbs is a big cat. Not fat, just big.

Now that I know how to add photos, maybe I can spruce up these here blogs.

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Tai Chi

Looks like time got away from me, again. Remembering to blog every week doesn't seem to be my forte. Maybe I should put it on my 2012 New Year's resolution list alongside the perennial "lose five pounds."

Surprise, surprise, I done finished my first Tai Chi class. I've been Tai Ching for a whole 4 months now which means I'm supposed to know the set. Far as I can tell, knowing and doing are two different things in this here Taoist Tai Chi world. I mean, there's like 108 moves in a set. Sure, lots of them are repetition, but it's like learning an intricate dance. It's gonna take a sight more practice to be good at it.

Then Luann talked me into attending a 3 hour class called an Intensive and it liked to have killed me! I'm amazed I could walk after all the donyuing-or whatever it's called-I did. Those are like deep knee bends, but the instructor swears when done properly it won't hurt your knees.

How would I know if it hurt my knees? My legs felt like rubber bands after doing a million of them. I wobbled around the room for most of the class, wondering if I was gonna fall on my face, break my hip and end up in a nursing home.

Don't get me wrong, the instructors are just as nice as they can be and they tell you to sit down when you feel tired. But I don't feel tired doing those donyu thingys, (if they keep using Chinese words, I'll have to go out and buy me a dictionary). No, I don't feel it until we stop. Then I feel it.

Anyway, the instructors filled my brain with way more information that it can process. Here I was, happy I'd finished the Beginning class and sort of learned the 108 moves and now they want to go and tweak them moves. From what they were saying every one of those moves has a whole bunch of nuances they don't teach newbies.

So much for learning Tai Chi and practicing at home!

Of course, finding out there was more to it than what we learned in that Beginning class made me feel a little bit better. From day one, I had the sneaking suspicion the instructor was doing lots more than she let on. First of all, I do the moves way faster than her. So finding out there's a lot more to a move made me feel better. She wasn't slow, she was doing more. I reckon when I can go as slow as her, I'll know the moves.

Monday, August 29, 2011

Collectibles or Dustibles

The problem with collecting anything is that folks hear you collect, say birds, and then you get a slew of bird items you never wanted. I made the mistake of collecting baby birds made by this one artist. Well, before you know it I’ve got statues of all kinds of birds, kitchen towel with birds on them, plates with birds painted on them.

Well, you get the idea.

Then you’ve got to display all this stuff or else worry about hurting someone’s feelings. At least, that’s the way I used to think, years ago when I was young. Now I leave it in the box and figure when I go to meet my maker, one of my kids will have to take it to the Goodwill.

Another problem with having a collection of anything is that if you display them, well, they become “dustibles.” Yep, everyone of those little rascals has to be dusted at least once in a while or else they’ll be festooned with cobwebs. Believe me, I know this. Not because I have a lot dustibiles out, but because my best friend LuAnna collects everything under the sun.

I think she’s a border line hoarder, but of course, I’d never say that to the dear old girl. For now, I’ll just say she’s got a large collection of dustibles. And an even larger collection of cobwebs.

Hmmm, maybe I should tell everyone I'm collecting cobwebs and see how many I get.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Dairy Queen Nights

According to a recent article in the Tassanoxie Sentinel, our fair city is part of a micropolitan community. I’ve been wondering if this is a fancy phrase for getting too big for your britches. Not that I’m complaining. Being part of a micropolitan community means lots of places to eat and shop. Something we didn’t have before we became a part of a micropolitan community.

I can remember when the only place to get a hamburger was the Dairy Queen. It was one of those drive ups. You parked the car, got out and went up to one of the windows to place your order. The DQ closed up tight as a drum at 10 p.m. on weekends and 9 p.m. on weekdays. Convincing your mom and dad you got home past midnight because you stopped at the DQ for something to eat didn’t work, but it wasn’t for lack of trying on my part.

Since everything else was closed, there wasn’t much reason for us kids to be out after 10 p.m. Unless we were up to NO GOOD. Which we usually were. About the time I graduated, we got a 7-11. Hallelujah! A place that stayed open until 11 p.m.

That 7-11 made it a whole lot easier to claim we’d stopped by the store for a snack which ran us late. Looking back, I doubt my parents believed for a minute that’s where I was with whoever I was dating. And I’m grateful cell phones with GPS were a long way in the future.

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Josh Johnson's Back in Town

I hear tell, Josh Johnson has come back to Tassanoxie and took the coaching job at the junior college. I remember he was quite the baseball sensation when he was in high school and was drafted by some professional team as soon as he graduated. We didn’t hear much about him after he left town. Sam says Josh played minor league baseball out West-when he played. Poor boy was injury prone.

I remember when Josh dated Merry Martinelli. Her parents still live behind us. My Jeb used to turn on all the flood lights when he let the dog out at night. You never heard such scrambling on the Martinelli’s porch as those two young’uns. Jeb liked to have laughed himself silly every weekend night.

Now that sweet Merry is an elementary school teacher. Seems like she was in elementary school not so long ago.

As for Josh, it’s good to have a nice young man like him back in town. Since he’s single, his being back should stir up some matchmaking mamas.

Oh my, the oven timer’s a buzzing. My casserole is done.

Monday, July 25, 2011

Something For Nothing

You can't tell, but I had a little technical problem that kept me from blogging, but I'm back now and ready to go.

I was watching Dateline last night, their show about scammers who get lots of money from people who fall for their scams. The host was wanting me to feel sorry that some woman lost her life savings to scam artists. He claimed that these scam artist are so good they not only fool the uneducated, but they get educated folks like this lady to give away her money, too. Why, even doctors fall for their schemes.

Well, as far as I can tell greed doesn’t care whether you’re educated or not. And it’s greed that drives folks to try to get something for nothing. If people didn’t want something for nothing, those scammers would have no one to scam.

Lord a mercy, if I was to get an e-mail saying some distant relative died and left me $15 million, I’d fall over laughing. Whoever heard of such nonsense? Anybody with that much money is gonna have so many people and organizations lined up to inherit in case of an accident that it isn’t going to go to some unheard of relative who lives in a different country.

Common sense. Folks need a good dose of common sense. That and the willingness to delete e-mails that come from foreign countries promising something for nothing.

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Downtown festival, caterwauling music and going deaf

They have a real nice festival in downtown Tassanoxie every fall, but somebody decided they needed a little music. Don’t get me wrong, I love music and sometimes I play it real loud, but not so loud it rattles my windows. And that’s the problem at the festival. They put a band at each end of the street and a noise war is declared. Their speaker systems don’t seem have anything but a loud volume setting.

Worse part is that the folks trying to sell their arts, crafts and food near about go deaf from listening to that racket all day. I swear my head was ringing when I left and I didn’t stay long. I went because my friend Merrybel had painted a mess of Christmas ornaments and I was being supportive of her attempts to bring in some extra cash. But the music was so loud, I bought an ornament and skidaddled on home. I didn’t want to lose my hearing.

The other day I told Merribel she should tell the president of the merchants association how the loud music interferes with the vendors being able to sell their stuff, but she’s so shy I doubt she’ll say a word. Come time for the fall festival, she’ll just sit there and go deaf. Now if it was me trying to sell something and I had to listen to that caterwauling all day, you can guarantee I’d be fussing at someone.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Dumb ole driver's license photo!

I do declare, if it didn’t cost $23 a shot, I’d get that gal at the courthouse to take pictures of me until she got it right!

Ghastly, that’s all I can say–and what a way to spend your day–taking horrible photos of perfectly pleasant looking people.

I mean, I’m not a beauty queen, but my driver’s license photo makes me look like a gargoyle. There I am with my mouth frozen into what Arnold Schwarzenegger uses for a smile. Can you believe he fathered a child and no one knew about it? My, my, my. Those celebrities. Usually,the father’s the one in the dark. That’s what happened to Lane Walker (Ellie’s Song). There he was singing away, becoming a celebrity, and Ellie Kellson didn’t tell him about sweet little Ashlee.

Of course that doesn’t have a thing to do with my driver’s license photo. Which as you can probably guess is not flattering. If the government wasn’t looking for a terrorist behind every tree, I could have at least wore a hat. But now I’ve got to look at this horrible picture every time I open my wallet for the next three years.

Or, I can just turn that unflattering photo over. No sense ruining my day every time I look in my wallet.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

All About the Folks in Tassanoxie

If you want to learn about folks who live in Tassanoxie, read one of the books Ginger Hanson has written about us. She’s one matchmaking little rascal, always putting couples together, pulling them apart and then letting them create their own happy ever after. Since she invented the town and all the folks (including me), I thought I'd just let you know there are stories out there about us that you might enjoy reading.

I've even added the pretty book covers for Ginger's books. Two Tassanoxie books are in print and ebook, but she's discovered the wonderful world of ebooks. Now she is writing shorter ebook only stories. There's already one in the queue for the holidays.

If you like historical romance, she's got a couple of those published, too!

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Replacement Body Parts

It seems like lots of folks are getting some body part or another replaced these days. Hips, knees, shoulder joints, you name it, it’s getting replaced. Here’s the kicker, we’re not talking particularly old folks, well people in their 50s don’t seem old to me. And that’s who is having this type of surgery. According to a newspaper article I read, it used to be replacement parts like this were put into people at the end of their life, not halfway through it (yep, 50 is the new middle age, what with 100+ being a popular end point!)

With so many people exercising, the wear and tear on the body takes a toll earlier which means new replacement body parts. No one knows for sure how many times you can replace a knee, but I’m sure those orthopedic surgeons will be happy to try and find out.

Too bad some folks can’t have their heads replaced. I know plenty of people in Tassanoxie who could do with a new head, preferably with some extra brains and while they're at it, a new personality. I guess it'll be a while before replacement brains are available.

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Kirstie Alley Got Second Place!

Land sakes! I couldn’t believe my eyes. Kirstie Alley won second place in Dancing with the Stars! Who would’ve thought an overweight, 60-year-old woman would have even made it past the first dance. But she hung in there and worked hard and reached second place.

Bessie Mae watches DWS and she kept raving about how Kirstie was dancing with this hunk. She even taped the last two shows and had me over for popcorn and a movie last night and then switched it to DWS. Such a trickster! But she was right, I enjoyed it. Kudos to Kirstie for making us oldies feel young, again. Although from her dazed expression, I wonder what drugs helped her survive the ordeal. Maybe hunger drove her.....

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Good Teeth Means Higher Bride Price

I went to the dentist yesterday and Dr. Meadows had to tell me about how one of his patients told him good teeth in a woman were important in some cultures. Guarantees a good bride price when they marry her off. This useless piece of info got stuck in this patient's caw b/c fixing his wife's teeth has cost him a fortune. This guy even told Dr. M he wouldn't have married his wife if he'd a known her teeth were so bad!

Dr. M thought this was hilarious. Upshot was, he told me I would've brought a good bride price because I have good teeth. I smiled, showing off my good teeth. Didn't bother to point out how crooked the bottom ones are. There wasn't much money in my family for things like braces when I was a kid so Jeb lucked out when he married me.

Sunday, May 1, 2011

People Tested Chairs

They went and built a new Civic Center and put the Senior Citizen Center in it. I sure wish they had people tested the chairs they bought for the place. The ones they bought have to be hardest chairs I’ve ever sat on. Well, I never was one for hanging out much at the Senior Citizen Center. And if I gotta to sit on those chairs I reckon I won’t be there very often.

It's no fun to think of myself as a senior citizen anyway. And as long as I stay away from mirrors and don't move too fast, I can forget I fall into that category.

Heard tell they found some Indian artifacts out at the Shady Creek development. Reckon that won't sit well with the board at Worthington's Bank since they invested in the development. It's going to be one of those mixed neighbors with some businesses, townhouses, garden homes and full size houses. Sounds like it'll be real nice, with sidewalks and all. That's one thing I never did understand. There's plenty of sidewalks in the older parts of town, but once they started putting in subdivisions, back in the 1960s, sidewalks went out the window. Here it is half a century later and someone in Tassanoxie finally realized sidewalks weren't such a bad idea after all.

Friday, March 25, 2011

Elocution Lessons

There was that time when I thought I’d take elocution lessons and get rid of my Southern accent. On account of my desire to be on national television as an investigative reporter. My goal got sidetracked when I came home one Christmas vacation a long time ago and reconnected with my high school beau, Jeb Tuckingham. He’d been off doing his thing in Army while I was getting my journalism degree.

Well, Jeb swept me off my feet and sweet talked me into marrying him. He had no plans to leave Tassanoxie so I never did get to be on national television. Instead, I got a job at the Tassanoxie Sentinel where I covered everything from weddings to murder trials. You sure get to know the folks in the town when you write about them for 30 years.

I guess it was a good thing I never took those elocution lessons because folks around here would've clammed up if I didn't talk like them.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Tai Chi Class

LuAnna insisted I go to a Tai Chi class with her last week. Can’t say that I’m any good at it, but the I sure do like the people taking the class. Friendliest bunch of folks I’ve met in a long time. Course I know several of them. When you’ve lived in the same town for near about 70 years, if you’re not related to most of its citizens, you’re connected through–church, school, clubs. ‘Course, with LuAnna introducing me to anyone I didn’t know, my head swam as much from meeting new people as learning how to grasp some ole bird’s tail.

LuAnna’s been doing this here exercise for about two years and she swears her balance has got so good she can stand on one foot while she puts her bedroom shoes on. She used to just about fall over if she tried a trick like that. I’m not interested in standing around on one foot, but my balance has gotten a little iffy. Living alone like I do makes me worry I’ll lean over too far one day and just keep going, splat on the floor. Probably break a durn hip and end up in the old folks home.

Monday, February 21, 2011

Sad Day in Tassanoxie

It’s a sad day in Tassanoxie when the police have to guard the city council meetings. Not that I blame them after all the goings-on around here. Imagine somebody shooting up a school board meeting!

Bessie Mae (she’s my best friend from when we were in elementary school together) wants me to stop going to the city council meetings, but I done told her that dog won’t wash. I’m not letting the idea of some crazy ole coot maybe coming into the meeting with a gun. I may as well stay home and put bars on all the doors and windows.

Anyway, Chief Moore always comes to the meetings, but now he’s gonna have some more officers there. Course, that might make some criminal types think they can have a free hand every first and third Tuesday nights while the police are busy at city hall.

As for me, I’ve been going to city hall meetings twice a month every since Jeb passed on. Would have gone a lot sooner, would have run for office myself, but back when I was younger folks would have laughed had I a run. Too bad I didn’t have as much moxie then as I have now. Nothing like age to give a body regrets.

I’m not gonna dwell on the should’ves, I’m just gonna keep going to the city council meetings. Those good ole boys (there still ain’t a woman on the board) need someone to give ‘em the evil eye when they make a dumb decision.

Monday, February 7, 2011


Sam says my blog needs a photo of me. I swear, what makes him think folks would want to look at an old wrinkled up lady like me? He told me to search the Internet for something called an avatar that I could put up there instead of a photo of myself.

I did what he said. Lands alive, my eyes about popped out of my head! Course, I could have fooled everyone and put one of those warrior women on my blog, but I decided not to scare all my friends away. I found a nice flower and had Sam put that on the blog.

He’ll do just about anything for a plate of my brownies and I sure didn’t want to spend another afternoon trying to figure out how to get that avatar thingy off the Internet into the blog. And it was nice to have some company this afternoon.

Friday, January 28, 2011

Going Online

I reckon I showed Sam Layton a thing or two. He didn't think I could figure out how to use this here computer my son gave me, but I did. I'm on the worldwide Internet! No telling what kind of trouble I'm getting myself into, but at least I don't have to look like a dummy when folks talk about blogging and such because here I am blogging away. I may just go get me one of those Facebook pages, too. I wonder if the Senior Center is going to have a class in getting one of those pages?

The instructor said we should have a reason for keeping a blog so I decided my reason would be to keep everyone up-to-date on the goings on in Tassanoxie, Alabama. I've lived here all my life, was born in the hospital way back when it was called Gilbert Hospital which is about five names ago. Now it's the Tassanoxie Medical Center, don't you know?

Anyway, if anybody knows this town, it's me. And I aim to tell everyone else about it.